A word that used to make me squirm...

A word that used to make me squirm...

Hey there!

I used to really struggle with the word ‘abundance’.

It felt self-righteous, arrogant, and... well, not very ‘spiritual’. 

When I first started on my awakening journey and heard people throwing that word around left, right and center, it made me squirm. But you know what? That was because I had a block around it! But I didn’t know it... 

So for the longest time, I couldn’t work out why my health wasn’t soaring, why my relationships weren’t overflowing, and why I could never get a break in my career or finances. Turns out, it was because I had major blocks around abundance and manifesting.

My inner Mean Girl would tell me...

You don’t deserve X, Y and Z.

Who do you think you are, trying to manifest this and that?

Get over yourself! You will never be overflowing in your health, wealth or love.

Then I realized that I needed to get serious about manifesting what I desired in my life. The problem was, I started manifesting from a place of fear. I’d say to myself — 

I must have perfect health because I’m scared of getting sick.

I want more money so that I can pay my debt so I don't get bad credit. 

I desperately want to find something that I’m passionate about because my life currently sucks and there’s got to be more out there than this.

I was “manifesting”, just like all the spiritual books and teachers told me to do… and nothing was happening. Absolutely nada. I was still unwell and unhappy, so I decided that all the manifesting ‘hocus pocus’ I’d heard so much about simply didn’t work.

That is until I realized something massive: that I was manifesting from a place of fear. 

Instead of attracting in the things I desired from a place of love, I was trying to call in what I wanted while swimming in a puddle of fear… no wonder it wasn’t working! But I was serious about achieving abundance in all areas of my life, so I figured I may as well give this whole ‘manifesting from a place of love’ thing a go. So I did!

Instead of saying, ‘I must have perfect health because I’m scared of getting sick’, I changed it around to the present tense and started saying, ‘I’m healthy, strong, energetic and vital’. 

Instead of saying, ‘I want more money so that I can pay my debt and not get bad credit’, I started saying, ‘I have complete financial freedom and money flows to me’.

And instead of saying, ‘I desperately want to find something that I’m passionate about because my life currently sucks and there’s got to be more out there than this’, I started saying, ‘I am open to trying new things, feeling into what lights me up, and following my curiosity’.

Can you see what a huge energetic shift this makes?

Your words and thoughts are potent. What you say to yourself will manifest in your life.

To truly manifest, you must draw in your desires from a place of love, not fear!

Try it for yourself, and see what a huge difference it can make. ๐Ÿ’› 

And here’s your Brain Fuel for this week:  

  • One of the questions I get asked the MOST is ‘How do you get so much done?’ One of my secrets is that I’m a ninja at planning my calendar, putting systems into place, and being super productive. If you want to learn my secrets, make sure you are a member of my FB group At The Core ; I will be doing some live videos on how to navigate this! 

Love, xoxo Shanna 

 

If you are struggling to find happiness...



Tonight, I came across a post that hit home for me. It is too beautiful not to share. Please take a few minutes and read below:  

"As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, we slowly realize that wearing a $1,000 or a $10 watch - they both tell the same time. Whether we carry a $500 or $50 wallet/handbag - the amount of money inside is the same. Whether we drink a bottle of $100 or $10 wine - the hangover is the same. Whether the house we live in is 100 or 1,000 square feet - the loneliness is the same. 

You will realize, your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world. 

SIX UNDENIABLE FACTS OF LIFE: 

1. Don't educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things, not the price. 

2. Eat your food as your medicines. Otherwise, you have to eat medicines as your food. 

3. The one who loves you will never leave you because even if there are 100 reasons to give up he or she will find 1 reason to hold on. 

4. There is a big difference between a human being and being a human. Only a few really understand it. 

5. You are loved when you are born. You will be loved when you die. In between, you have to give as much love as you can back to the world. 

6. If you just want to walk fast, walk alone. But if you want to walk far, walk together. 

SIX BEST DOCTORS IN THE WORLD: 

1. Sunlight
2. Rest 
3. Nutrition
4. Exercise 
5. Self-confidence 
6. Friends 

Maintain them in all stages of life and enjoy a healthy life." - Uknown 

If you're reading this and struggling on finding your happiness, look at the simpler things, instead of the big things. Do not compare yourself to anyone, what society, or people in your life who are telling you how you should live your life. Listen to your heart and gut, they will never fail you.  And, as always, remember your health is #1. If you're taking care of your body, your body will take care of you. It's as simple as that. 

Be well, my friends.

Are you worth investing in?

Are you worth investing in?
Everything we do or don’t do in life is an energy exchange

You can be doing so much to heal, but if you aren’t *investing* in what fills you up, in what makes your soul shine, then what are you really doing?

Maybe you’re getting some relief but are you feeling fulfilled, whole?

When I say invest, I mean energetically AND monetarily. We can’t sit around waiting, wishing, hoping, praying. As if these things that our heart & soul desires will just fall into our lap. We have to DO

Buy that book you’ve been eyeing
Treat yourself to that massage
Book a session with that healer
Enroll in that course
Purchase supplies for your new venture
Get the new appliance
Join that dance class
Go to that $20 event
Go to that free event
Plan your own event
Do the hobby you love
Take up the new hobby you’ve been curious about
Check out that fitness studio
List that thing you’ve been meaning to sell
Post those words you’ve been wanting to share
Connect w/ the person you’ve been thinking about
Take those 45 minutes each day for you
Rest as much as needed

Give back to others. Do good for the community. Get money circulating!

GET. OUT. THERE! Get out of your head & do something with your mind! Get the energy flowing through your body & out into the universe! Do the things you want to do! The things that bring you life!

What you circulate out, comes back to you in beautiful ways. Believe in that!

Get rid of the habits & pastimes that block you from being able to invest. Build the investment within you to have the stamina with what you want to create

I understand it can be scary to break free from our comfort zones or to spend the extra money. But what’s the result if you don’t do that? Remaining stuck. When we invest we open up space, we let things flow in naturally

What have you been wanting to do that’ll allow you to grow? Make a list for yourself *today*, just 3-5 items, & begin checking those things off๐Ÿ’ซ

The Calm Before The Storm

The Calm Before The Storm

I've always liked to identify August as the "calm before the storm" month. If you think about it, it is really our last quiet month of 2020. September comes, school is back in session, summer vacations are over, and we hit reality at full speed. Then the holidays come (let's be honest, holidays can be busy, productive, and stressful), and then BOOM, a new year. 2020 has been one surprise after the next, so my plan is to focus on well-needed R&R (rest and recuperate). Who's joining me?

To help get your R&R started, below are a few tips! 

#1. BE MINDFUL BUT THINK LESS.
The environment we are living in right now, in my opinion, is very toxic. The election month is approaching and I feel like as the days get closer to November 3rd, I hear more and more negativity. I am programmed to pay no attention to any negativity. My advice to you is to do the same. It's important to be aware of what's going on in the world but, if you can, do your best to tune out all negativity. Focus ONLY on what directly affects you and what serves you. If it doesn't directly affect you or serve you, then pay no attention to it. It's as simple as that. :) Spend that energy on doing something you enjoy - cooking, reading a book, going for a walk, or catching up with a friend.

#2. SKIP THE GUILT.
You've heard me say this before but I think it's important to say it again. The amount of time and energy that is spent on the guilt of what food item you should or should not have eaten or a work out you didn't do, does not belong in your headspace. I want you to eliminate any guilt that you are carrying around from the PAST. The past is the past. I want you to focus on the present and only the present. Remember, it's okay to indulge in those simple pleasures in life, as long as you're doing it mindfully and respecting your body. Enjoy a cocktail, just don't go crazy on consumption and empty calories. Stay in control of your body, mind, and your choices. Eat mindfully, balanced, and I promise your body will reward you. Reminder, you are building a sustainable lifestyle, NOT following a "diet". 

#3. SPEND EVERY MOMENT YOU CAN OUTSIDE
In case you did not know, vitamin D is one of your most important vitamins. It's your happy vitamin, and essential for keeping your immune system and bones strong. In early May I made a promise to myself to take a walk every night. Whether it be 20 mins, 30 mins, 40 mins, or 60 mins, whatever I have time and energy for is what I do. It has been a game-changer for my overall mental health. Nothing beats fresh air, quiet time, and the coastline (if you follow me on Instagram you've seen these posts!).  Make the effort this month to spend as much time outside. Soak in the vitamin D (wearing sunscreen of course),  enJOY the warm temperatures (reminder: CT has 7-8 months of cold weather), fresh air, and if you live near any body of water - lake, river, ocean - get in that water!!

#4. GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I am by no means judging, you need to do what is right for you. BUT, too many people spend too much time playing on their phones. Scrolling through social media, reading Twitter, news articles, & much more. Due to recent happenings, I have made a commitment to get off my phone. I found myself going through rabbit holes on social media, getting sucked into the news, and became overwhelmed/stressed. I recognized that it was becoming toxic to my mental health. If you follow me on social platforms, you may notice that I am not AS present as I once was. When you own a business, I understand this isn't ideal but, I needed to do it. I found that documenting my life on a social platform was taking away from me engaging in good conversation, enjoying my surroundings, and living in the moment. I also found it to decrease my stress levels. Being on my phone less was meant to be a temporary thing but is now a permanent thing. At least for now. ;)

Let's make September the best month yet! Stress-less, live-more!

If you have additional mental health plans for September, I would love to hear. Send me an email!

I am wishing you all a peaceful, healthy (load up on in-season foods listed below!), and safe month of September.

XOXO




Self-care is NOT selfish

Self-care is NOT selfish

Take a minute to check in with yourself. Do you feel overwhelmed? 


There are things each person needs to feel fulfilled. That is going to look different for you than it does for me. Being a stay at home mom and nurturing your children all day may be your thing. For others, it may be working a 9-5 job, going to the gym, and going home to cook yourself a meal. In either scenario, women are giving it their all in many areas of their life. They’re giving to their family, their employer, their friends, their hobbies. 


Where does self come into play? 


For me, there are certain practices I absolutely need in place to keep from feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes it’s hard for me to take time for myself. To get my mind quiet. It can be chaotic with a husband, kids, and dogs. I know it’s important to take a step back and do something for myself but it’s still hard. Is it hard for you too?


It’s so important to let your mind be quiet and still. We can get in such a routine of go-go-go that we forget to pause. We only realize we need a break once we get too far away from our center. Don’t lose yourself to your responsibilities, your friends, or your family. If you’re constantly giving to everyone else, you’ll eventually have nothing left to give. Trust me, I’ve gotten there a few times and it’s a dark place. You need to refill your cup so you have something to give to others. It’s not selfish to take time for yourself. You wouldn’t see taking a bathroom break or lunch break as selfish, right? Your mental and emotional state is just as important as your physical state. This doesn’t have to be an intense self-care ritual. It can be as simple as a five minute meditation, reading a book, going on a walk by yourself without being connected to social media or work. 


Take a minute to ask yourself, what do you need right now to feel supported? What do you need in this moment to feel peace and happiness?


To all the women out there that are trying to be everyone’s everything- I see you and I hear you. If you need help with your self care routine, or how you can better take care of yourself, let me know. I’m here to support you. 

Would you consider me privileged?

Would you consider me privileged?

I want to share with you my recent experiences around privilege. The definition of privilege is “a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group”. You may be privileged, or lack privilege, because of your race, gender, ability, wealth, or class. 


Recently I’ve come to realize I’ve been privileged all along. How so? Keep reading…


Let’s start at the foundation of where privilege can possibly come from, that being, the family you are born into. Let’s face it, you can be blessed with the family you are born into or you can not be. Being blessed means you never have to wonder if there will be food on the table. You never have to question being loved. Then there is the flip side of things. There are many children born into a family in which they are neglected and/or around traumatizing situations. I truly believe this ONE distinguishing factor directly influences MANY avenues of an individual's life. 


For me, I was lucky and fell into the blessed category. Growing up I had parents who worked hard to provide the best opportunities they could. Although divorced, they both were actively involved in my daily life and I always knew I was loved. I was able to go to a Catholic high school, attend college, and find employment with great benefits directly after college. As I grew up, I never thought of these things as special or unique. I thought that this was just how life was supposed to be and was for others. Ironically, now, I can say I was privileged. The fact is, if I didn’t have my parents' support, both financially and emotionally,  I never would have ended up where I did. I know that for a fact. 


The past few weeks we’ve been at the Napa Center in Boston getting therapies for my youngest daughter, Lyssie. This center was not well known in my circle and I had to do a lot of research on my own to even find out about it. There was a lot of correspondence with therapists, insurance, billing, etc. to get things in motion. Had I not been educated enough to navigate these different systems we wouldn’t be here. This got me thinking about privilege and what that looks like for me and my family and that my privileges now were directly influencing my children. They are privileged for the opportunities/experiences that they are given from us as their parents and the rest of our family. 


Privilege doesn’t need to be seen as a bad thing. Everyone wants privileges. Everyone wants  access and opportunity. The problem is not privileges. The problem is that not everyone is given privileges. For example, the intensive center that we are at now, these types of high-level therapeutic supports for a child that qualifies as needing so, should be available to all.  It makes me sad to think this is not a basic level of care that is provided to people. It makes me disappointed to know there are other children like Lyssie, that don’t know about centers like this and all of the other opportunities out there. 


These advanced centers are something that I feel should be available to everyone regardless of their employment, benefits, or financial status. Don’t get me wrong, there are services provided for free, and for anyone with a disability by the state of CT from birth to 3. I’m incredibly grateful for that and the therapist that we have developed a wonderful relationship with. The difference between those free services and a center like this is the intensity level of it, the newer kinds of therapies/equipment utilized and the resources provided. This is the best of the best. And who doesn’t want that for their child? 




So again, when talking about privileges I am privileged because I can get my child into a center like this. I can utilize my insurance.  If insurance wasn’t an option, I still would be able to find a way to pay for it. Now to tie this all together...let’s work this privilege backward to see where it lands. Do you see it? I owe it all to my parents. So thank you, mom and dad, for the privileges that you worked so hard for me to have. I’m sorry it took me so long to see them as what they truly are.  


I want to know what your thoughts are on this topic. Have you thought about your privilege? If you don’t have privilege, I want you to share it as well. I want to hear your perspective. Do you think a lot of it had to do with your life growing up and the opportunities you were/weren’t allotted? I want to have an open dialog conversation with you about this topic and how we can make changes. I may not have all the answers but together we can work to make a real impact in this area. 


Take care everyone.


If you’d like further information about this center and how to navigate insurance etc. please DM me. I’ve attached many videos/pics of Lyssie’s sessions on our FB page, Perfectly Placed. Please come join us :) 

How often do you look at the flip side of things?

How often do you look at the flip side of things?
Dear “Typically-abled” Child of Mine,

When I first received your sister’s diagnosis, one of the first coherent thoughts I had was, “How will Elliana handle this?” “Will Elliana feel burdened by the role she fell into?” “What if I am so overwhelmed with Elyssa’s special needs that it seems to you that I forgot about your needs?” I couldn’t get passed the lack of control I felt about how all of this change was going to shape you. I wrongly exited the present and started living in your futures. In the world of unknowns and anxiety. “What if someone made fun of you for having a sister who was differently-abled?” All I could think about was how this wasn’t going to be fair to you, how you didn’t sign up for this, and how you were going to feel slighted. You see, at that point in our journey, I didn’t understand the complex world of differently-abled. In fact, I am still working to understand its many nuances. 

Fast forward a bit to our family trip to Boston. A trip I planned with both you and your sister in mind. My heart couldn’t be fuller right now as I close my eyes and think of all the good that took place on this trip. There was so much happiness shared. Everything was centered around our two perfect girls, our family. I don’t even think you were aware but I watched you at the park with your sister and it taught me a lesson. Yes, even as an adult you learn lessons. Anyway, Elyssa was playing in the splash park for the first time and she was going up to others with a smile and attempted hug LOL. You picked up on the fact that during a Pandemic some of the other children maybe didn’t want to be touched or you just wanted to let her know you were there so I watched you go over and very subtly grab her hand and bring her to another sprinkler a few feet away. You have this unique read on things for your age and such innate protection for Elyssa- always have. 

It was at this moment that I realized what I initially failed to think about with Elyssa’s diagnosis. It’s called the flip side. And the flip side usually requires you to surrender your fear and follow your faith. My focus should have been on how wonderful her diagnosis could be in your world. How having a sister with special needs can help strengthen your already amazing character traits and instill strong core values in your life. For example, when you see your sister working hard to accomplish something that comes so naturally to you, I pray you learn humility. When you are tempted to judge someone based on anything other than the kindness of their heart, I pray you learn to not judge a book by its cover. When you see Elyssa’s concern for someone she barely even knows, I pray you learn how important compassion is. When Elyssa greets you with a smile from ear to ear because she loves you more than you can imagine, I pray you do the same with her. Because of your sister, I hope you can by-pass some of the shallowness that comes with youth and in turn teach others who haven’t been as fortunate as you about these crucial life lessons. 

Things won’t always be fair. There will be times when I am seemingly too concentrated on the “inns and outs” of being a special needs mom, but I will try my best to always settle the score. My love for you burns just the same and runs deeper than the ocean. You have the secret to life right in front of you: Life isn’t all about you and when you make your life about others, you get so much more in return. I learned that one from Poppy. I hope you teach each other to love, to love all people, and to love them well. You two are gems and I can’t believe I get to call you both mine. 

Love,
Mommy

Hidden gem helps children with disabilities shatter stereotypes...

Hidden gem helps children with disabilities shatter stereotypes...
I want all you mamas out there to understand the underlying message here. Had I not done some further digging and sought this opportunity out, I would have never known about it and my daughter would have missed out. No one is going to make sure that you know about ALL of the amazing resources, therapies, and opportunities for your child EXCEPT you. If you want more for your child, go and get it. If you hit a stumbling block go around it. If you don't get the answer you want, ask someone else. Use your connections, ask questions, and model resilience for your child. Show up, stand up, and be their voice.
Read more...

Who else FEELS this?

Who else FEELS this?
Healing will not make your life worse

Will things change? Absolutely
Will relationships shift? 100%
Will there be setbacks? You bet
Will you question it all? Most likely
Will it be trying at times? No doubt
Will life feel uncomfortable? Of course

You were put in the place you’re at now to give you the opportunity to turn it all around & come back better than how it was before.

Growth is a gift even though it may not always feel like it. You owe it to yourself & your future to embrace what’s in the palm of your hands!

Place your hands in front of you & take a look at them. Seriously. Do it right now. Really study your hands. Do you feel connected to yourself? To your journey? Do you feel the energy you hold?

If you’re having trouble feeling or seeing your power, *know* that it’s there. It’s waiting for you

It will get easier
New relationships will form
You’ll remember your passions
You’ll find your purpose
You’ll have many victories
You’ll gain great experience & knowledge
Your life will expand in beautiful ways
You’ll find your peace & freedom
Miracles will happen

You’ve come this far, that’s a miracle in itself! Keep going!
If you'd like my guide to self-healing click here: 9 steps autoimmune
๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’œ

What my daughter said that crushed my soul

What my daughter said that crushed my soul
How many of you have had your kid say something to you at one point or another that completely crushed your soul? If you have I pray that it doesn't consume you. If you haven't I pray that you avoid hearing it. 

There are few things in the world that hurt a parent more than hearing their child say “You need to be a better parent.” The words cut like a knife. The child you love so much and have sacrificed for in so many ways now thinks you suck as a parent. When Elliana said this to me it was a huge red flag that something was up because she is never intentionally unkind or hurtful. 

 In general, when a child is hurtful, they are seeking revenge for some perceived hurt feelings on their part. They have a problem they don’t know how to solve, whether they’re angry or stressed. Not being able to handle problems leads your child to feelings of discomfort—and pushing your buttons and getting a strong emotional reaction from you helps to make up for those feelings of discomfort.

A million thoughts were running through my head as to why my daughter said this to me. It then hit me. Sometimes, as adults, I think we forget how powerful our own energy is. With what’s been thrown at us the past few months, our vibrations individually & as a whole have been lowered. Globally, I’d say the vibration has shifted massively downward.

Panic. Fear. Distress. Confusion. Concern. Disinformation. Anger. Frustration. Restriction. These are all known as *LOW VIBRATING ENERGIES*. It’s everywhere we turn right now on a global level. Low vibrations create stress and anxiety and everyone that has been stuck in this house for the past 3 months is feeling it. Including my daughter. And little did I know that my energies were being picked up on even though I was doing my best to hide them. 

Elliana has watched me "go to work" each day from 8-3. I am in the house but not available to her because I am working. As a 5-year-old she doesn't understand why Mommy can't play with her. I'm navigating teaching, emails, meetings, phone calls, Elyssa's therapies and all she sees is me "not here but there." I keep hearing the words "you are always working." In kid language, this means she misses me. 

When I go into work it is different for her. She has her own schedule. She is at school interacting with her friends and teachers. She goes to dancing class and gymnastics. She sees her Poppy and Grandma at least once a week. Nothing about this has been easy for her and because children are so seemingly resilient I just went with the flow of the everyday. Even though we are doing our best to keep things "normal" around here she was well aware that it's far from our normal. No wonder her behavior was off! 

So at that moment instead of being defensive and going into a tailspin of "all that I do" as a parent, I simply asked if she was feeling anxious about anything and if she wanted to talk. Her response let me know that I should've checked in sooner. 

She let out a heartbroken cry and quietly said, "I'm afraid of the virus, I miss my friends and my family, and I miss going to the playground."

That’s when the floodgates opened for both of us.

I tried to say the right things like, "I know. This feels hard and unfair because it is." I hugged her and assured her that in time things will get better. We grabbed some ice cream for good measure and went on with our evening.

Watching my five-year-old process the loss of her first friends, school experience, teachers, family—is the most humbling moment I’ve had as her mother. I always knew she was capable of feeling deeply. Though, I had no idea she could verbally express it in the mature way she did.

As I put her to bed that night I couldn't help but smile thinking about what transpired. In shifting perspectives I came to these thoughts...missing all of the things that she described also means she has been very lucky. She has been the recipient of good love, from many people and places, and yes, my sweet girl, sometimes when you get that kind of gold, it’s incredibly hard to let it go.


 
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