Stop saying "tomorrow"

Stop saying "tomorrow"

When it comes to getting results, it takes motivation and ability. Motivation makes things happen.

Where there’s no will, there’s no way. One of the best ways to improve your personal effectiveness is to master your motivation and find your drive.

If you can master motivation, you can deal with life’s setbacks, as well as inspire yourself to always find a way forward, and create new experiences for yourself, and follow your growth.

1. Connect to your values.

This is the ultimate secret. If you can connect the work you do to your values, even in small ways, you can change your game. One of my values is learning and growth.

2. Find your WHY.

Figure out a compelling purpose. Turn this into a one-liner.

For example, when I fall off the horse, I remind myself I’m here to “make others great.” This gets me back on track, sharing the best of what I know.

3. Change your WHY.

Sometimes you’re doing things for the wrong reason. Are you doing that task to get it done, or to learn something new? Just shifting your why can light your fire.

4. Change your HOW.

You can instantly find your tasks more enjoyable by shifting from getting them done, to doing them right.

I think of it as mastering your craft. Make it artful.

Sometimes slower is better. Other times, the key is to make it a game and actually speed it up. You can set time limits and race against the clock. Changing your how can get you out of ruts and find new ways to escape the mundane.

5. Remember the feeling.

Flipping through your head movies and scenes is one of the fastest ways to change how you feel.

Remember the feeling. How did you feel during your first kiss? What about laying on the grass on a sunny day?

When you feel good, you find your motivation faster.

6. Shift to past, present or the future.

Sometimes you need to be here, now. Sometimes, the right here, right now sucks. The beauty of shifting tense is you can visualize a more compelling future, or remember a more enjoyable past.

At the same time, if you catch yourself dwelling on a painful past, get back to right here, right now, and find the joy in the moment.

You’ll improve your temporal skills with practice.

8. Take action.

Here’s a secret that once you know it, can change your life. Action often comes before motivation.

You simply start doing an activity and then your motivation kicks in. Nike was right with “Just do it.” For example, I don’t always look forward to my workout, but once I start, I find my flow.

9. Link it to good feelings.

Find a way to link things to good feelings. For example, play your favorite song when you’re doing something you don’t like to do.

It has to be a song that makes you feel so great that it overshadows the pain of the task. It’s hard to tell yourself you don’t like something when it feels so good.

10. Impress yourself first.

This is how people like Peter Jackson or James Cameron or Stephenie Meyer inspire themselves. They make the movies or write the books that impress themselves first. They connect their passion to the work and they don’t depend on other people setting the bar. Their internal bar becomes their drive.

11. “CHOOSE” to.

If you tell yourself you “HAVE” to do this or you “MUST” do that or you “SHOULD” do this, you can weaken your motivation.

The power of choice and simply reframing your language to “CHOOSE” to can be incredibly empowering and exactly the motivating language you need to hear. Choose your words carefully and make them work for you.

12. Pair up.

This is one of my favorite ways to make something fun. One person’s painful task, is another’s pleasure. Pair up with somebody who complements your skill or who can mentor you and get you over the humps.

At the end of the day, all motivation really comes down to self-motivation, and you get better at motivation by building your self-awareness.

Learn how to push your own buttons from the inside out.

The power of your mind...

The power of your mind...
What are you doing on a daily basis to achieve the goals you have for your life? This is the question we should be focused on, but we aren’t . Often, we are too busy comparing ourselves to other people which causes envy and misery in our own lives. We continuously berate ourselves for making mistakes disregarding the fact that if you don't make mistakes, there are no challenges and no chances for personal growth. We put our happiness in the hands of others knowing full well that true happiness can only come from within. This line of thinking and behavior is toxic and has to be brought to an end in order to get what we want out of life... & I mean now. 

Focusing on things that make you feel bad will only prolong negative emotions. I encourage you to shift your focus from the external to the internal and go after what you really want. There are lots of victories ahead for you, and to reach them you have build a sustainable solution that will open doors to success in every direction you choose.

I see how hard you are working. I know how much you want to change. Your work and your life is ever evolving, revealing new layers. Just when you think you’ve reached a new level, there’s another layer hiding underneath that will take you to new depths of growth. When reading this, I encourage you to be open to the possibility of change. Your next breakthrough is right around the corner.

Not second in my heart...

Not second in my heart...
Dear Elyssa,

You didn’t make me a mother. You were my second child. Not in my heart, but one did come before you.

With you, it was different. There was no elaborate shower.  I didn’t take many photos, didn’t spend every waking moment reading. My mind was busier; worried about your health. My body more tired because I was caring for your big sister.

And then, before I knew what happened (because time passes so much quicker the second time around), you were here.  And in an instant, that was it. I was yours. A mom of two beautiful little girls. We were a family of four. 

The worries eventually lessened, though apparently still present. My thoughts drifted often. They questioned if I was managing my time, energy and love equally enough. You having some additional needs was new to us all. The time spent at appointments or in the hospital away from home were difficult to endure. Though, I’m sure it was most difficult for you.

But, Oh Elyssa, my sweet girl, the lessons you’ve helped me learn.

You’ve taught me that kids truly are resilient, and that my love covers the gap for you or your big sister when i’m not there.

You’ve taught me to slow down, chill and roll with the punches.

You’ve taught me how absolutely strong I can be, and you’ve given me a confidence I lacked the first time around.    

But more than anything, you taught me that a heart is limitless in size, and that my love for you is the antidote to any fear that pops up.

So, it’s true. You didn’t make me a mother.

But you sure made me a better one.

Self-care shouldn't be overlooked

Self-care shouldn't be overlooked

Self-care is often a very overlooked thing. It is enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution. It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time and then needing to take deliberate breaks to do basic things like drop some oil into a bath and read People magazine.

A world in which self-care has to be such a trendy topic is a world that is sick. Self-care should not be something we resort to because we are so exhausted that we need some reprieve from our own internal pressure. True self-care is not salt baths and cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to escape from.

It often means looking your failures square in the eye and re-strategizing. It is disappointing people. It is making sacrifices for others. It is living a way that other people won’t, so you can live in a way that other people can’t.

It is letting yourself be normal. Regular. It is deciding how much of your anxiety comes from not actualizing your latent potential, and how much comes from the way you were being trained to think before you knew what was happening.

If you find yourself having to regularly indulge in consumer self-care, it’s because you are disconnected from actual self-care, which has little to do with “treating yourself” and a whole lot do with parenting yourself and making choices for your long-term wellness.

It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself
” and start trying to take care of yourself… and maybe finding that taking care attends to a lot of the problems you were trying to fix. It is becoming the person you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it.

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