A word that used to make me squirm...

A word that used to make me squirm...

Hey there!

I used to really struggle with the word ‘abundance’.

It felt self-righteous, arrogant, and... well, not very ‘spiritual’. 

When I first started on my awakening journey and heard people throwing that word around left, right and center, it made me squirm. But you know what? That was because I had a block around it! But I didn’t know it... 

So for the longest time, I couldn’t work out why my health wasn’t soaring, why my relationships weren’t overflowing, and why I could never get a break in my career or finances. Turns out, it was because I had major blocks around abundance and manifesting.

My inner Mean Girl would tell me...

You don’t deserve X, Y and Z.

Who do you think you are, trying to manifest this and that?

Get over yourself! You will never be overflowing in your health, wealth or love.

Then I realized that I needed to get serious about manifesting what I desired in my life. The problem was, I started manifesting from a place of fear. I’d say to myself — 

I must have perfect health because I’m scared of getting sick.

I want more money so that I can pay my debt so I don't get bad credit. 

I desperately want to find something that I’m passionate about because my life currently sucks and there’s got to be more out there than this.

I was “manifesting”, just like all the spiritual books and teachers told me to do… and nothing was happening. Absolutely nada. I was still unwell and unhappy, so I decided that all the manifesting ‘hocus pocus’ I’d heard so much about simply didn’t work.

That is until I realized something massive: that I was manifesting from a place of fear. 

Instead of attracting in the things I desired from a place of love, I was trying to call in what I wanted while swimming in a puddle of fear… no wonder it wasn’t working! But I was serious about achieving abundance in all areas of my life, so I figured I may as well give this whole ‘manifesting from a place of love’ thing a go. So I did!

Instead of saying, ‘I must have perfect health because I’m scared of getting sick’, I changed it around to the present tense and started saying, ‘I’m healthy, strong, energetic and vital’. 

Instead of saying, ‘I want more money so that I can pay my debt and not get bad credit’, I started saying, ‘I have complete financial freedom and money flows to me’.

And instead of saying, ‘I desperately want to find something that I’m passionate about because my life currently sucks and there’s got to be more out there than this’, I started saying, ‘I am open to trying new things, feeling into what lights me up, and following my curiosity’.

Can you see what a huge energetic shift this makes?

Your words and thoughts are potent. What you say to yourself will manifest in your life.

To truly manifest, you must draw in your desires from a place of love, not fear!

Try it for yourself, and see what a huge difference it can make. 💛 

And here’s your Brain Fuel for this week:  

  • One of the questions I get asked the MOST is ‘How do you get so much done?’ One of my secrets is that I’m a ninja at planning my calendar, putting systems into place, and being super productive. If you want to learn my secrets, make sure you are a member of my FB group At The Core ; I will be doing some live videos on how to navigate this! 

Love, xoxo Shanna 

 

Would you consider me privileged?

Would you consider me privileged?

I want to share with you my recent experiences around privilege. The definition of privilege is “a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group”. You may be privileged, or lack privilege, because of your race, gender, ability, wealth, or class. 


Recently I’ve come to realize I’ve been privileged all along. How so? Keep reading…


Let’s start at the foundation of where privilege can possibly come from, that being, the family you are born into. Let’s face it, you can be blessed with the family you are born into or you can not be. Being blessed means you never have to wonder if there will be food on the table. You never have to question being loved. Then there is the flip side of things. There are many children born into a family in which they are neglected and/or around traumatizing situations. I truly believe this ONE distinguishing factor directly influences MANY avenues of an individual's life. 


For me, I was lucky and fell into the blessed category. Growing up I had parents who worked hard to provide the best opportunities they could. Although divorced, they both were actively involved in my daily life and I always knew I was loved. I was able to go to a Catholic high school, attend college, and find employment with great benefits directly after college. As I grew up, I never thought of these things as special or unique. I thought that this was just how life was supposed to be and was for others. Ironically, now, I can say I was privileged. The fact is, if I didn’t have my parents' support, both financially and emotionally,  I never would have ended up where I did. I know that for a fact. 


The past few weeks we’ve been at the Napa Center in Boston getting therapies for my youngest daughter, Lyssie. This center was not well known in my circle and I had to do a lot of research on my own to even find out about it. There was a lot of correspondence with therapists, insurance, billing, etc. to get things in motion. Had I not been educated enough to navigate these different systems we wouldn’t be here. This got me thinking about privilege and what that looks like for me and my family and that my privileges now were directly influencing my children. They are privileged for the opportunities/experiences that they are given from us as their parents and the rest of our family. 


Privilege doesn’t need to be seen as a bad thing. Everyone wants privileges. Everyone wants  access and opportunity. The problem is not privileges. The problem is that not everyone is given privileges. For example, the intensive center that we are at now, these types of high-level therapeutic supports for a child that qualifies as needing so, should be available to all.  It makes me sad to think this is not a basic level of care that is provided to people. It makes me disappointed to know there are other children like Lyssie, that don’t know about centers like this and all of the other opportunities out there. 


These advanced centers are something that I feel should be available to everyone regardless of their employment, benefits, or financial status. Don’t get me wrong, there are services provided for free, and for anyone with a disability by the state of CT from birth to 3. I’m incredibly grateful for that and the therapist that we have developed a wonderful relationship with. The difference between those free services and a center like this is the intensity level of it, the newer kinds of therapies/equipment utilized and the resources provided. This is the best of the best. And who doesn’t want that for their child? 




So again, when talking about privileges I am privileged because I can get my child into a center like this. I can utilize my insurance.  If insurance wasn’t an option, I still would be able to find a way to pay for it. Now to tie this all together...let’s work this privilege backward to see where it lands. Do you see it? I owe it all to my parents. So thank you, mom and dad, for the privileges that you worked so hard for me to have. I’m sorry it took me so long to see them as what they truly are.  


I want to know what your thoughts are on this topic. Have you thought about your privilege? If you don’t have privilege, I want you to share it as well. I want to hear your perspective. Do you think a lot of it had to do with your life growing up and the opportunities you were/weren’t allotted? I want to have an open dialog conversation with you about this topic and how we can make changes. I may not have all the answers but together we can work to make a real impact in this area. 


Take care everyone.


If you’d like further information about this center and how to navigate insurance etc. please DM me. I’ve attached many videos/pics of Lyssie’s sessions on our FB page, Perfectly Placed. Please come join us :) 

How often do you look at the flip side of things?

How often do you look at the flip side of things?
Dear “Typically-abled” Child of Mine,

When I first received your sister’s diagnosis, one of the first coherent thoughts I had was, “How will Elliana handle this?” “Will Elliana feel burdened by the role she fell into?” “What if I am so overwhelmed with Elyssa’s special needs that it seems to you that I forgot about your needs?” I couldn’t get passed the lack of control I felt about how all of this change was going to shape you. I wrongly exited the present and started living in your futures. In the world of unknowns and anxiety. “What if someone made fun of you for having a sister who was differently-abled?” All I could think about was how this wasn’t going to be fair to you, how you didn’t sign up for this, and how you were going to feel slighted. You see, at that point in our journey, I didn’t understand the complex world of differently-abled. In fact, I am still working to understand its many nuances. 

Fast forward a bit to our family trip to Boston. A trip I planned with both you and your sister in mind. My heart couldn’t be fuller right now as I close my eyes and think of all the good that took place on this trip. There was so much happiness shared. Everything was centered around our two perfect girls, our family. I don’t even think you were aware but I watched you at the park with your sister and it taught me a lesson. Yes, even as an adult you learn lessons. Anyway, Elyssa was playing in the splash park for the first time and she was going up to others with a smile and attempted hug LOL. You picked up on the fact that during a Pandemic some of the other children maybe didn’t want to be touched or you just wanted to let her know you were there so I watched you go over and very subtly grab her hand and bring her to another sprinkler a few feet away. You have this unique read on things for your age and such innate protection for Elyssa- always have. 

It was at this moment that I realized what I initially failed to think about with Elyssa’s diagnosis. It’s called the flip side. And the flip side usually requires you to surrender your fear and follow your faith. My focus should have been on how wonderful her diagnosis could be in your world. How having a sister with special needs can help strengthen your already amazing character traits and instill strong core values in your life. For example, when you see your sister working hard to accomplish something that comes so naturally to you, I pray you learn humility. When you are tempted to judge someone based on anything other than the kindness of their heart, I pray you learn to not judge a book by its cover. When you see Elyssa’s concern for someone she barely even knows, I pray you learn how important compassion is. When Elyssa greets you with a smile from ear to ear because she loves you more than you can imagine, I pray you do the same with her. Because of your sister, I hope you can by-pass some of the shallowness that comes with youth and in turn teach others who haven’t been as fortunate as you about these crucial life lessons. 

Things won’t always be fair. There will be times when I am seemingly too concentrated on the “inns and outs” of being a special needs mom, but I will try my best to always settle the score. My love for you burns just the same and runs deeper than the ocean. You have the secret to life right in front of you: Life isn’t all about you and when you make your life about others, you get so much more in return. I learned that one from Poppy. I hope you teach each other to love, to love all people, and to love them well. You two are gems and I can’t believe I get to call you both mine. 

Love,
Mommy

Who was your Ms. Barber?

Who was your Ms. Barber?
Be here, Be you, BELONG. I love those words by Brene Brown. Top educators teach with heart. Content aside- a student will perform for you if you let them see your heart. I know this because I lived it. Ms. Barber. The ONLY teacher I would have done anything not to disappoint. And this didn't come into play until high school. Imagine all those years of education lost feeling disconnected from school?
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So let's first make no mistake. I was a pain in the ass in school. I'm not proud of this but it is key to my story. My apologies go out to each and every teacher I had. Yes, I was the kid that you were warned about. You know, the one that when your list of students comes out everyone says "OHH, you'll earn your paycheck with that one." From about 4th grade on, I had no interest in anything but the social aspect of school. Ancient civilizations were not on my priority list of things to know. 
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You are probably thinking to yourself "what was going on in her life that caused those behaviors? "What was she lacking at home?" Truth is, nothing at all. I had parents who were involved. I had access to materials, sports, extra help, etc. I had a large group of friends; and average ability. Yet...I wasn't connected. I own that.
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So, what was it about Ms. Barber that had me eating out of the palm of her hand? Was she really young and cool? Did she let me get away with things? Did she let us have "fun Fridays?" No, no and nope. 
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Never underestimate the power of these two words...time and trust. There is a certain energy to it; an equation. See Ms. Barber showed up with her whole heart. She gave me her time; something that you can't put a price on. She brought tough conversations into ordinary moments and let it be known that being vulnerable was actually showing strength..
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Want to know where I ended up because of Ms. Barber? Watch the video down below. And if you see Ms. Barber, tell her I said "thank you."