DECATASTROPHIZING: HOW TO CALM DOWN WHEN THE WORLD IS CAVING IN


We all can feel overwhelmed by the “what ifs.” We make an entire possibility a catastrophe before it even happens. We live in the future instead of assessing the actual facts of a situation in the present. That’s why this technique of "decatastrophizing" a situation is so important. Let me walk you through it.

1. Define the catastrophe.

Use precise statements and avoid using “what if” statements. Be specific about what you think will happen. For instance, state “my boyfriend will break up with me.” Then, rate how terrible it would be if this happened out of 10 — 10 being the worst and one being “not so bad.”


2. Write down the likelihood of this catastrophe happening.

Consider, has it ever happened in the past? Does it happen ever in real life? Has someone you know gone through this? When does this actually happen?

3. Write down how terrible it would be if the catastrophe actually happened.

Define what the worst possible outcome would actually look like. What would happen? How would things be affected?


4. Write down what the best possible outcome is.

What is the best-case scenario for your situation? How would things change? What would actually happen?

5. Write down how your friends and other people would talk to you about your concern.

Would they agree with the level of concern you have? Would they believe all of the possible outcomes? What would they say if they were in your shoes?

6. Write down how you would cope if the worst possible scenario happened.

Consider how you would deal with the catastrophe. How have you coped in the past? What has gotten you through past difficult situations? What are some strategies you can use to cope with the worst possible outcome? Who can you turn to during a difficult time?

7. Write down the most positive thing you can be told right now.

What would put your mind at rest? What is something reassuring you can be told? What can someone say to make you feel better?

8. Rate the situation again after you have completed each step.


Use 10 being the worst and one being not so bad. Did your rating change? What changed in your thinking?

Did walking through these steps help you rationalize the situation and assess it from an outside perspective? Did this process help you prepare to deal with the actual situation by using facts? My hope is that it did.

I use this process a lot. 


In a world where we are up one minute and down the next, it can feel like we are swept away by our emotions. Our anxiety and feelings about a situation can lie to us and make us feel like the world is caving in around us. This isn’t about being overly dramatic about a situation it is about our propensity to make a situation worse than it is. If we can cognitively reframe our thoughts about a situation, we can help ourselves cope with it. My hope is that this process will help ease some anxiety and tension you feel about situations you are facing in life that seem overwhelming and make the world feel like it is coming to an end.

Until next time, 
Be well. 
Shanna

Gifts to give yourself...

Gifts to give yourself...

Hello! In the spirit of gift-giving and spreading the love, I’ve been thinking about what we could gift ourselves right now. I made a little list which I'd like to share with you here.


GIFTS TO GIVE YOURSELF 🎁

  1. Free time: It may be a little hard to find, but whenever you can snatch a few moments to yourself, please do so. It’s amazing what even 10 minutes can do to restore body and mind. Make a little list now of what you’d do with those 10 minutes. Would you read, snuggle in bed, cuddle your pet, go for a walk? If they sound tempting, can you find time to do one of them today?
  2. Compassion: I bet you’re harder on yourself than you are on your loved ones! I know I certainly am. I seem to think I can do it all. I set the bar really high then have a go at myself when I don’t quite reach. Would you expect your family, kids, or friends to do everything, all of the time? What do you say to them when they fail - Don’t worry, you tried your best? No-one’s perfect? Have another gone tomorrow? Practice saying these things to yourself instead and show yourself some kindness. Ask yourself whether it really all needs to be done by yesterday? Does it all need to be done perfectly? Does it all need to be done anyway, and by you?
  3. A kick up the ***: Bet you weren’t expecting this one on the list! Well, it may not be the most obvious gift but I do personally believe that practicing tough love on ourselves is important sometimes. It could be saying no to that last slice of chocolate cake, chastising ourselves for being too lazy to go out for a walk, chopping up our credit cards if we’re drowning in debt, or removing apps off our phone to limit time on social media. Being hard on ourselves and saying enough is vital for a bit of personal responsibility and realizing that real change has to come from within. Tough love shouldn’t be your default mindset but every now and then I think it comes in handy.
  4. Appreciation: Stand in front of the mirror and say some lovely things about yourself. Stop looking at those wrinkles or the grey hairs showing through, or the dimply and wobbly bits, or that you’ve forgotten to feed the dog… Put negativity, criticism, and your To-Do list aside for a moment and say some kind things about that amazing body and mind of yours and all that it does for you every day. (And then go and feed the dog if you need to!).

I’d love to know if you’ve got anything to add to this list. I think there are plenty of other things but it would be a very long email and we’d definitely be here until Christmas just reading it!




A LITTLE CHALLENGE FOR YOU THIS WEEK

  1. Find 10 minutes to yourself each day for the next week. Do something for yourself in that precious time.
  2. List 5 things you love about your body and re-read that list whenever you catch yourself thinking something unkind about how you look.
  3. Knock a task off your To-Do list that you don’t really need to do, or delegate it to someone else if that’s an option. Your partner or kids? Cooking dinner? Housework? Feeding the dog?
  4. Practice tough love. Be aware of when you’re doing something that’s not in your best interest (eating that second piece of cake, reaching for the TV remote instead of your walking shoes) and give yourself a little talking to. Do you really need that cake? Could you go for a walk first and then reach for the remote? Willpower and motivation are like a muscle. They get stronger the more they’re used!

    Hit reply and let me know how you get on with these little challenges or where you struggled most!

Take care of yourself, 
Shanna


A little dose of encouragement...

A little dose of encouragement...

Hi,

Welcome to another Sunday and another little dose of encouragement to find simplicity in your home and your life wherever possible.

In a world full of uncertainty and change, I think we can all benefit from taking heart in the simple little things that make up the ebb and flow of our days.

For me, personally, that means:

  • Teaching (to pay the bills)
  • Walking  (for calm, fresh air, exercise, and my love of nature)
  • Keeping up with my (very flexible routines) for housework and looking after myself and my family (because my home, kids and myself all work better when we have a little structure!)

For the most part, they may seem like mundane, predictable tasks but in a 2020 that’s been full of change, sometimes the known feels better than the unknown!

Having said that, I’ll certainly be ready for a bit more excitement as soon as Covid restrictions let us. Fingers crossed for everyone…

If you’d like to share how you feel about your days in 2020 and the little things that you find joy in, I’d love to hear from you. 😊


THIS WEEK ON THE BLOG ✍

This week I’ve shared a couple of new posts on the blog. You can check them out with the links below. 




THE CORE LIBRARY

The At The Core library filled with my free resources is available to you whenever you need it.

It's my way of saying thank you to everyone who joins my email community.

It's packed with really helpful checklists, printables and workbooks to help you declutter your home, your mind, manage your time, and simplify your life.

Just sign in and you will be able to access it :) 

AND FINALLY...

I’d like to leave you with a short but powerful little quote from Muhammad Ali…

Even days filled with the mundane, the predictable and sometimes the downright difficult, try to seek out the little joys. 💝


Connect with me:

Roadmap: Not sure where to start? This may help!

Instagram: Simple tips and inspiration for daily motivation and encouragement.

Pinterest: A wealth of ideas, inspiration, and extra resources to help simplify our complex and busy lives.


That’s it for now. Have a lovely weekend, stay safe, and look after yourself.

I’ll be back in your inbox next week.


Shanna

At The Core Website 

Simplicity = Less clutter and stress, more clarity and calm.

Let's talk about VICTIM MENTALITY...

Let's talk about VICTIM MENTALITY...
You are your home; take care of yourself. 

Who else is protecting the energy of their home right now more than ever? Once this is all over, let’s promise to continue social distancing from the toxic people and situations that drain our energy, okay? Let’s unfollow or mute accounts of people constantly debating, talking negatively about others, and encouraging division. ✌🏼 

If you are feeling the negativity and it is draining you take a look at this...

SELF-AWARENESS TEACHING TIP: Over-responsible people do too much for others and try to solve other people’s problems. The self-responsible person takes responsibility for their own emotional life without blaming others and comfortably carries the responsibilities associated with life.⁠
Women often fall into the role of being over-responsible, although it is not at all uncommon to find men who also carry this role. The line between genuine caring of others and over-responsibility becomes blurred and confused for over-responsible people and they will argue that they have no choice but to care for others. They tend to be unaware that this has become a reflex rather than a choice. ⁠
So look at yourself. Are you worn out from looking after people? Do you never feel you have done enough? Do you feel that if you did not carry the burden of responsibility then your world, or the world of those you care for, would collapse? If these are true for you then take a look in the mirror and think about how you take care of yourself. Maybe it is time for a change.⁠
You have the right to say “no” without further explanation. Another way to think about this is by talking about VICTIM MENTALITY in general. According to Merriam Webster, victim mentality is “: the belief that one is always a victim: the idea that bad things will always happen to one.”

If you have anyone in your life who’s always a victim, you know how DRAINING it can be. It feels like they just suck the energy out of the room and out of conversations.

Setting boundaries with people who cannot see beyond their own suffering and victimization is extremely important.

Set the boundary now, before getting dragged down any further ❤️❤️. 

Your mental health is absolutely worth it.
Wishing you well, 
Shanna

A word that used to make me squirm...

A word that used to make me squirm...

Hey there!

I used to really struggle with the word ‘abundance’.

It felt self-righteous, arrogant, and... well, not very ‘spiritual’. 

When I first started on my awakening journey and heard people throwing that word around left, right and center, it made me squirm. But you know what? That was because I had a block around it! But I didn’t know it... 

So for the longest time, I couldn’t work out why my health wasn’t soaring, why my relationships weren’t overflowing, and why I could never get a break in my career or finances. Turns out, it was because I had major blocks around abundance and manifesting.

My inner Mean Girl would tell me...

You don’t deserve X, Y and Z.

Who do you think you are, trying to manifest this and that?

Get over yourself! You will never be overflowing in your health, wealth or love.

Then I realized that I needed to get serious about manifesting what I desired in my life. The problem was, I started manifesting from a place of fear. I’d say to myself — 

I must have perfect health because I’m scared of getting sick.

I want more money so that I can pay my debt so I don't get bad credit. 

I desperately want to find something that I’m passionate about because my life currently sucks and there’s got to be more out there than this.

I was “manifesting”, just like all the spiritual books and teachers told me to do… and nothing was happening. Absolutely nada. I was still unwell and unhappy, so I decided that all the manifesting ‘hocus pocus’ I’d heard so much about simply didn’t work.

That is until I realized something massive: that I was manifesting from a place of fear. 

Instead of attracting in the things I desired from a place of love, I was trying to call in what I wanted while swimming in a puddle of fear… no wonder it wasn’t working! But I was serious about achieving abundance in all areas of my life, so I figured I may as well give this whole ‘manifesting from a place of love’ thing a go. So I did!

Instead of saying, ‘I must have perfect health because I’m scared of getting sick’, I changed it around to the present tense and started saying, ‘I’m healthy, strong, energetic and vital’. 

Instead of saying, ‘I want more money so that I can pay my debt and not get bad credit’, I started saying, ‘I have complete financial freedom and money flows to me’.

And instead of saying, ‘I desperately want to find something that I’m passionate about because my life currently sucks and there’s got to be more out there than this’, I started saying, ‘I am open to trying new things, feeling into what lights me up, and following my curiosity’.

Can you see what a huge energetic shift this makes?

Your words and thoughts are potent. What you say to yourself will manifest in your life.

To truly manifest, you must draw in your desires from a place of love, not fear!

Try it for yourself, and see what a huge difference it can make. 💛 

And here’s your Brain Fuel for this week:  

  • One of the questions I get asked the MOST is ‘How do you get so much done?’ One of my secrets is that I’m a ninja at planning my calendar, putting systems into place, and being super productive. If you want to learn my secrets, make sure you are a member of my FB group At The Core ; I will be doing some live videos on how to navigate this! 

Love, xoxo Shanna 

 

 
Read Older Updates